Though I took a hard blow from the death of my grandpa (we called him “Pa), I should’ve handled it differently.
I shouldn’t have let it affect my grades.
I had all A’s before his death. I ended up with AB’s afterwards.
I shouldn’t have let it affect my job.
I lost my job lmao.
I shouldn’t have let it affect my school.
I stopped attending classes for a week, missed a bunch of deadlines and major assignments, and just let everything plummet.
What I should’ve done was compartmentalize.
I didn’t know what this was during that time when I was going through it, but weeks later when I was talking to my brother about how everything fell apart after Pa died, he told me about it.
I shouldn’t have let my emotions on Pa affect my work or my school or my health. I should’ve kept it separate. Professional. But I didn’t. I let it take a wrecking ball to break through my mind and bulldoze my heart and send my life into a falling frenzy.
But I suppose now I know. Now I know that I need to keep my drinks separate or else I’ll throw up.
Lesson of the Day: Your work is your work, your play is your play, and your pain is your pain.
Real Lesson of the Day (at the bottom): ^That lotd is wayyyy too simplified because nothing’s that simple.
It’s going to be hard to keep going. It’s going to be hard to keep going when you got this major project due but your fingers can’t seem to type anything comprehensible because your tears won’t stop flooding your eyes and skewing your vision.It’s going to be hard to eat when your throat’s too tight to swallow anything. It’s going to be hard to get up from bed when you’re still exhausted even though you’ve been sleeping all day.
But you have to realize something.
You go to school and you’re paying thousands a year, for what? To be all mopey and sad and get bad grades? Don’t waste that money. Get those grades and get that degree.
You have a job and it’s your only source of income, for what? To not show up, not get paid, and to get fired? Don’t let your reputation be tainted or your pockets be empty. Go to work and make that money.
It’s okay to hurt and I know it hurts, but you’ve got a degree to get, a job to do, and a life to live. Life’s not going to stop just because you do.
When I finally manage to get out of bed after he died, I pulled out my phone, went to the notes section, and wrote in all caps, “LIFE GOES ON, YOU’RE STILL ALIVE, SO GO WITH IT.”
Don’t let it leave you behind. Don’t hurt yourself by neglecting your jobs, grades, friends and family and don’t hurt them either. There’s a time to vent and a time to work. You will heal. Sometimes working or continuing to live your life helps you deal with that. Vent when it both helps you heal and doesn’t hurt the other aspects of your life. That’ll help keep you in track in those areas, while still helping you heal.
Real Lesson of the Day (shortened): As I wrote that day and say now, not just about death but any personal problems you may be going through, “LIFE GOES ON, YOU’RE STILL ALIVE, SO GO WITH IT.”